HAPPY 35th ANNIVERSARY!

Happy Anniversary dad and mom!!! Your love and gentleness with each other inspires us all daily. We are blessed to be under the umbrella of your unconditional and very special love. We hope the next 35 are just as happy. :) We wish you a wonderful day of celebration ~
We love you so much!

It's Beginning To Look (a little) Like Christmas!

I so enjoyed my day free of homework today! I slept in, sipped on hot coffee, checked on all my bloggy friends and e-mails and then I started on the Christmas decorating! :) I don't have a lot of things to decorate with...I seem to add a little bit to my collection every year, but it's fun to re-discover everything each year! :) I also finished a blanket I was working on and was able to get the gifts I've already purchased wrapped!! Yes, this feels good! Tomorrow....I hit the stores for some hardcore Christmas shopping!

They Did It!

My mom, my uncle, and two of my cousins were 4 of over 2000 people to walk 60 miles in support of breast cancer research this past weekend!!!! It all started on Friday morning at Freestone Park at around 7am. With an inspiring and emotional send off they began their trek to complete 60 miles over three days. Each day consisted of approx. 20 miles....they slept in tents and then got up the next morning to do it all again. They've trained all year and even though there were some mishaps with blisters the size of Texas.....there was no complaining....not even once. They are truly inspiring!

We (the family of supporters) greeted them at each cheering station with smiling faces and decorated T-shirts, signs, chairs, blankets, coke, gatorade, bandaides, etc. to help them get through the next series of miles before we would see them again. They were well taken care of by the 3-Day Crew, but we liked being there to give them anything extra that their heart may be desiring...like Dunkin Donuts on the last day!! :)

This group of 2000 walkers helped raise over $5 million dollars this year for breast cancer research!!! The closing ceremonies on Sunday evening were beautiful and motivating......I think I cried through the whole thing. I cried for the people who were no longer with us, I cried for the people battling this disease right now, I cried for those who will and I cried out of tenderness for what each of these walkers brought to the 3-Day this year. It wasn't easy.....there were those who were sick from dehydration during the night and proceeded with their dedication of finishing this walk the next day, there were those in the process of chemotherapy who held their heads of up because they have hope for their future and every single person walked because this disease has affected them on some level. They carried that person or persons with them as they put one foot in front of the other and in the end they all knew that they had made a difference.

So, THANK YOU mom (Kimberly), Uncle Ken, Rachel and Kelleigh for helping make this world a more hopeful place to live.....imagine....a world without breast cancer!

A Few Little Halloween Treats

My mom and dad had a Halloween party last night and we all had a great time! Here are a few random pictures we took throughout the night. I didn't get a picture of Asher's costume, but he was a yellow ladybug......a "meat eating" ladybug! :) Brodes was a dinosaur, Wyatt was a sock monkey and JoJo was a witch. :) Everyone was adorable!!

Happy Anniversary To Us

Yesterday (the 27th) we celebrated 8 years of marriage by driving home from San Diego with my family!! :)

We got to spend the weekend hanging out with family, being amazed by Shamu, being gently rocked to sleep by the breeze on the beach as we listened to the waves, rejoicing in the genuine excitement on each one of the little ones faces as they discovered something for the first time! It was a wonderful weekend full of good times and we thoroughly enjoyed it!

I just have to give a little "shout out" to my wonderful and adorable husband who has been my best friends for the last 10 years. He is what makes my days and nights so worth living and has been my rock through the times I didn't know how I would make it. I'm so thankful he is my partner and I would marry him all over again today. :)

Let's Try This Again

Well, last summer I tried to take this algebra class and it kicked my booty so I had to drop it since I was taking Anatomy&Physiology and also working. Soooo, in another effort to take my mind off of my quest to become a mother I'm trying it again. :) My first day was yesterday....didn't really feel like the first day of school since I didn't have to go anywhere! :) It's an online class ~ I have to say that whoever's idea it was for online classes is truly a genius.
After this class I will only have 1 more class to take prior to applying for the nursing program! :) Plus I have to pass the N.E.T., which makes my stomach sick just thinking about it.
Anyway....I'm sure I will do great in this class.....as soon as I find my motivation.
Now....where did I put it.......

A Visit to the Past

We went to visit Cassie and Kyle in NM this past weekend and had such a wonderful time! It had been many years since I was in Farmington and it was so exciting getting to show Matt where I went to High School and where we lived and all my old stomping grounds. It has changed SO much ~ but still the same in many ways. We also took a drive up to Durango which was even more beautiful than I remembered! Matt used to work for a window company and part of his territory was Durango. In our search for somewhere to let the doggies run around we drove down a little side street and lo and behold ~ there was the window company Matt used to service!
Cassie and Kyle were such wonderful host/hostesses and we enjoyed our time with them so much. We were able to meet several of Kyles family members and were quite entertained by his little niece who was doing her best to make everyone laugh....just by giggling!! :) We were introduced to a couple of wonderful little breweries where we got to hang out on the patio and enjoy good conversations....It was wonderful to be able to sit outside in the middle of the day and not pass out from heat stroke!
Molly and Daisy got along wonderfully and didn't even try to escape from the yard while we were gone. I think Molly thought she had died and gone to heaven with that much running room ~ and a sweet little playmate! :) Daisy decided to sleep on Molly's bed the whole time and jumped up on it when Matt picked it up when we were ready to leave. :) I think she just didn't want us to go. She even went to Molly's protection when we were in Durango and a couple of big Huskies scared the bajeebies out of Molly! :)
We had such a wonderful time!!!! Even with the horrible movie selections! :) Thank you for letting us stay and for making our time there so comfy and fun!! :) Love you ~

Take A Moment

I just wanted to take a moment to remember the victims and their families that were affected by this date 7 years ago. Not only the innocent people who lost their lives on that specific day, but all of the people whose lives have been affected since then. I don't know how this current war will end, but I pray that it's under peace and safety for the men and women who are still over there and the countless innocent victims whose lives have been turned upside down due to it. I pray that it's soon so that no one else loses their life. I pray that our next president can make this happen....whoever that might be.

Not this time either...

It's not completely official, but it looks like they've chosen another family. There were so many reasons that I thought this might be "the one", but.....instead of preparing for a new addition to our family, we're left picking up the pieces of another disappointment. Yuck...I hate this feeling.

Requesting Your Thoughts and Prayers

Our profile is going to be shown to an expectant couple tomorrow and we would love it if you could send some prayers or special thoughts out for us. :) This baby is due Oct. 4th ~ it appears to be a situation that would fit into our family wonderfully. :)
We are excited, nervous, anxious, scared, worried, happy that we've been given this opportunity and hoping that their decision is made quickly. :)
Thanks so much!!

So, the birdie saga continues....

Last night we had a pretty heavy thunderstorm with lots of rain and wind. We went to check on the little birdie that is refusing to leave his nest. Well, Matt comes running in to get a flashlight because he says "something" us up on top of our house. What?! So we both go out with flashlights and Matt's made me completely freaked out that something is going to jump onto my head as I run out from under the house. Lo and behold there is a cat laying, oh about a foot above the poor little birdie nest. We made enough commotion to scare him off...but only until this morning when he was back again. :(
Anyway...during the windstorm our little birdie lost his nest. :( It was on the ground this morning when I went out to check on him. I looked around the ground for him and didn't find him. Finally I looked up and see him wedged onto a little tiny ledge right below where the nest was. So, all day he has made changes to his location and now....he's sitting in the spot right where his nest had been. :) He REALLY does not want to leave. There was a point when I thought maybe I should try and put the nest back up there, and then I thought...no, maybe mother nature is subtly trying to tell him it's time to hit the road! :) His mama (or daddy) periodically continues to check on him and keep watch. I'm not sure that this little guy will ever leave! He's a pretty big birdie now...it's really amazing how fast these birds grow. I think I'll be sad when he actually does decide to leave....

Round Two

Well, a couple of weeks after we lost our little mourning dove family...a new little family decided to take up residency in the nest that was left. I thought to myself "oh great, we have to go through this again!". So far this experience has been quite different than the last one. We did have a very close predatory encounter, but I think everyone is okay. (I hope!)
There were two little baby doves that were hatched - Matt saved one of the shells to show the little kiddos, but it was starting to gross me out having a it on my counter so I threw it away. :( For quite a while I could see two little birdie heads popping out of the nest. It was so cute! There was always a mommy or a daddy taking care of the little ones. I kept expecting to walk out and find one of the babies on the ground like last time....but it never happened until this past Wed. I had the door open to the backyard and Molly and T were enjoying the cool morning air. Well, all of a sudden there was a big swoosh headed straight for the ground. We went outside to see T laying under a bush right below the nest and both adult doves flopping around acting like they were hurt. I thought it was just because T was so close to the nest. Well, halfway through his pounce to go after the "hurt" doves, I grabbed him only for Matt to realize he had a feather sticking out of his mouth (classic!) I almost vomitted thinking that one of the baby birdies was in his stomach! Once I got him inside we looked back by the bush he was laying under and saw one of the babies. He was pretty big and his wings looked all spread out and awkward. I thought "wonderful ~ he's going to lay there and die and I can't do anything about it!" I could watch him from the family room window. I knew I wasn't supposed to try and help him ~ I knew his parents would do what they could. I kept checking on him until all of a sudden he was gone. He kept moving closer and closer into the shade as the sun continued to rise in the sky. His little wings were folded perfectly to his side and he was looking around at everything. The last time I saw him he was semi under a vine between it and the house and his mama was perched on the fence right above him. The next morning he was nowhere to be seen. I'm choosing to believe that he found his strength and has flown away. That's what I'm choosing to believe and hopefully it's the truth!
Now for this other little birdie.....I don't think he wants to leave home. Both parents are hardly in the nest at all these days. Last night for the first time he was perched a little outside the nest and I expected to see him on the ground this morning, but nope....he's snuggly secured within his nest again! :) Maybe he's really a chicken and not a mourning dove. :) Can you blame him after what he witnessed with his brother!? :)
Needless to say both Molly and T are on house arrest and Molly is only allowed in the backyard under strict supervision ~although she'd probably just want to be friends with the birdies anyway!

Show and Tell Time :)

I've tried to make a little space for creativity between my mandatory book reading and reviewing. :) I finally got around to making Wyatt's rag quilt. (it's only 10 months late!) It was fun and reminded me how much a enjoy creating things. I thought I would post a little photo of it for you. :) (it's the red,white and blue one ~ haha!)
Yesterday while I was at JoAnne's I saw the "pattern" for these little blankets and thought for some reason that Molly needed one for when we go camping and especially for "her spot" on the couch. So...here's the little blankie I made Molly too. :) It was fun and super easy!!

Our Mourning Dove Mama

This little mama was so devoted to her little babies...there was never a time that I went outside and she wasn't there in her nest over the past month. I really came to enjoy her being here and liked the fact that she felt safe being close to us. I wondered how she was feeding them and learned that they feed them "milk" that is regurgitated from the food she eats. I guess that explains it!

Well, Tuesday I went outside and found a little tiny feathered baby bird on the ground right below the nest (dead). I felt horrible for her ~ I talked to her a little bit and wasn't sure what to do with it. I had to do something or else Molly / Tantrum would find it.

This afternoon I went out to check on her and found another little feathered birdie with its wings spread out (obviously had taken a shot at flying) dead in the same place. These little birds were of pretty good size and I just can't figure out what happened. That poor little mama bird....

I looked online and Mourning doves only lay two eggs....so I guess that's it for her. I wonder if she will try again.... I felt her loss with her as I, too, lost two little ones of my own.

Tonight she is not in her nest....I think she's moved on.

Our San Diego Trip

Hi! I just wanted to share a few pictures from our trip over to Coronado. :) We had a great time hanging out on the beach (yes, we spared you the swimsuit pictures!! :)), we went to the Wild Animal Zoo which was incredible and just spent more time wandering through town and Seaport Village. It was a perfect little get-a-way! :)
Here's out little bunglaow ~
We found a dog beach and were very entertained by this huge St. Bernard who LOVED the water!

Sneaky waves!!


A very large paw print of a very large lion ~ thank goodness he was sleeping! :)Mama and baby elephant ~ they were having a great time together that day!Asian elephant ~ aren't these tusks amazing! He looked like a wool mammoth (less the "wooly")
Pride of lions just basking in the shade ~ amazing!

God's Whisper

So let me paint you a picture....

The room is getting darker as the sun is setting very low in the sky. The blinds are closed and there are slivers of orange sunlight gleaming in through the areas of the blinds that don't completely cover the window. I have my Willow Angels sitting on my dresser, almost all of which are enveloped in darkness. I had just put some laundry in the laundry basket in my room and was heading toward the door. I briefly glanced over to my left to find this magnificant shadow displayed on my wall. The words read "HOPE". I realized the sunlight had captured one of my Willow Angels....a little person with one arm stretched way up high holding a sign that says "hope". For some reason I felt like God was talking to me. It could have been any other of my numerous Willow Angels that caught the sunlight last night, but it was THIS one.....a big bold beautiful message to have hope! It was just what I needed! :)

Self Advocacy :)

This has been on my mind a lot lately. I'm not the type of person to sit back and let someone else do all the "work" for me when it comes to...well...just about anything. :) So...it's not a very comfortable position for me to be in when it comes to our adoption process and not having a hand in the work to be done to bring our baby home. I don't feel comfortable just waiting without doing something myself to help make our situation different and bring us closer to the dream of becoming parents. I enjoy "fighting for my own cause". :) I decided that I'm going to try and do some things within my power to spread the word that we are two loving people who want to be parents and after seven years have not been able to make that happen for ourselves...we are seeking to adopt an infant to raise in this wonderfully beautiful, honest, open and incredibly loving family we are a part of. We are homestudy ready which means we have completed all of the necessary information needed to become certified in our state. We are just waiting...for a birthmother to think that we are the right people to care for and raise her child. I have thought about posting our "dear birthmother" letter...just in case anyone who happens across this blog reads it and knows someone or is someone who wants to make an adoption plan for their child. It feels a bit personal, but I guess we have to let ourselves be vulnerable sometimes if it means achieving our dreams. :)

Just a Little Vent

Something has been on my mind for a little while and I guess I need to release it in order to move on from it. :) The New York Times recently published an article regarding the journeys of several women through their infertility/adoption/child-free living, etc. The infertility support group that I am involved with sent out an e-mail regarding this article and a link to it in order for anyone who wanted to to read it since they felt like it was an adequate representation of many feelings involved in this disease. At the bottom of the article I ran into an area where readers can respond to the article and leave comments about their thoughts. As I read through the comments I was horrified, hurt, and in shock at the lack of compassion and downright cruel and mean things people commented upon. Granted I am aware that until a person has experience something for themselves, they could not possibly know the magnitude of hurt or pain involved...but I guess in never occured to me that there are people out there who have absolutely zero compassion for anyone going through the battle of infertility. It took me back...actually way back....to the point of wondering why we can't all just support each other even when we don't understand the other person's hurt. Is it our right to be judgemental of another person's pain just because we don't feel the same way?? Wouldn't it be nice if we could just feel compassion for a person solely because there is something in their life causing them pain? Comments were left about the fact that "if infertility is the worst thing in someone's life that they should just be grateful". To be honest, almost every single day of my life I have a conversation with myself about how much in my life I have to be thankful for...and do you know why I have this conversation with myself everday? It's because everday I am reminded in one way or another that after 7 years I am still not a mother no matter how hard I have tried to be one. So, yes....I know how incredibly fortunate I am to have such a wonderful family, a roof over my head, a wonderful support system, amazing friends and a husband that is a human angel.....but it still doesn't take away the pain I feel when I think that I might never experience feeling a baby growing inside of me, the miracle of birthing my son, looking into my child's eyes and seeing the reflection of her father or nursing a baby to sleep. Some of these things aren't important to some people...but they were important to me and my choice to have these important things in my life were taken from me without my permission.
So before we judge someone's pain based on our own idea of importance on the subject... let's just acknowlegde that the person is hurting, lend them our compassion, and do what we can to help them through it.

okay...now I feel better. :)

And then you lose your job...

Yes, it's true. Tuesday our division informed us that due to the hardship of our economy all of the designers would be let go. Technically my last day is the 13th after a long week of installing our last remaining project. Funny how that worked out!
While we all knew that this was a possibility (they had already let two designers go since the beginning of the year), we had just received a new project and were in the middle of preparing for a presentation. We certainly were not expecting this right now. I had in my mind that eventually leaving my job would be under my terms. I would work up until "our baby" came and then be at home. The timing of this isn't quite what we had planned for. And actually...it's not really about the money so much (while some adjustments must be made), the difficult part of it for me has been about the people I have come to know and build relationships with over the past 8 years of being in the design industry. Not only the people that I work with directly, but our vendors who I work so closely with and have for a long time. I knew that when I eventually left my job as a designer, I would most likely not return to the design field once I went back to work (if I decided to). So, this abrupt change in my life is kind of the end of an "era" for me. I won't ever work in this industry again and even though that's my decision, it's still been what I've done for the last 8 years....and it just feels a little bit strange. I must say, I feel a little bit sad. I've never been in this situation before.
I know that everything happens for a reason. I was very ready for change in my life...I just didn't know it was going to be my job...but I am going to embrace what this change means for me and take some time to find my new direction. Whatever that might be.
I know from being on the building end of the economy and also seeing what Matt's going through on the finance end of the economy that our world is a little scarey right now. I just want you all to know that I hope you and your families are pulling through okay and I pray that this little black cloud that seems to be hovering over us right now soon lifts.
Let's all take care of each other. :)

Update on Potential Birthmother

She chose another family for her baby....
I feel like crying although I'm not really sure why....I think in a way you let yourself start imagining the the life you might share with this particular baby and imagining the way and time in which your life would begin to change. I guess this just wasn't "our baby"...

Memorial Day

Thinking about and honoring those who have given their lives today through the tragedy of war. Wishing peace and comfort to their friends and families and to all of those still waiting to come home. May we always honor and remember those who have made this ultimate sacrifice.

Especially thinking of our dear friend Jeremy Fresques who was taken from us on May 30, 2005 in Iraq. May peace be with him and his family.

Update

Well, there isn't one regarding the potential birthmother and I'm frustrated by the fact that even though I've emailed our social worker twice in regards to "just letting us know when their meeting was scheduled for with the birthmother", that I haven't heard 1 single word. I'm certainly not expecting any sort of answer from the potential birthmother this quickly...all I wanted to know was when the meeting was...or is....or won't be. In the meantime we're just left to wonder....ahhh, the unknown....it's just a big bag of fun!

On another note....we've pretty much finished the painting in the nursery. :) We received our dresser/changer combo, but haven't gotten our polka dot chair yet. :) Probably the end of next week. Anyway...here's the latest. :)

Smiling Faces

It's raining daisies! African Daisies that is. :)

Brittni gave out these seeds to each of her guests to leave with after her wedding. Last year I found them and thought "why don't I plant these!" I'm sad to say that I actually didn't sow them very gently or with much care. I haphazardly threw them out along side our tropical hibiscus...not really expecting a whole lot, but hoping for a surprise. Well...lo and behold this year these little plants started popping up all over a certain area of our yard. At first we thought they may be weeds...but we decided to see what would happen. As these "weeds" started getting taller and taller we started feeling a little more like they were weeds. Then we started seeing tons of buds on them. Literally if felt like it was overnight and they all just started blooming like crazy!! It makes me so happy to see them...I feel like there's a hundred smiling faces saying hi to me!! :) It's been SO hot the last few days and I have been so afraid of losing them, so I thought I better get some pictures while I could and enjoy them while I can. :)

Thanks B! I love the gift you have given us. :)