Something has been on my mind for a little while and I guess I need to release it in order to move on from it. :) The New York Times recently published an article regarding the journeys of several women through their infertility/adoption/child-free living, etc. The infertility support group that I am involved with sent out an e-mail regarding this article and a link to it in order for anyone who wanted to to read it since they felt like it was an adequate representation of many feelings involved in this disease. At the bottom of the article I ran into an area where readers can respond to the article and leave comments about their thoughts. As I read through the comments I was horrified, hurt, and in shock at the lack of compassion and downright cruel and mean things people commented upon. Granted I am aware that until a person has experience something for themselves, they could not possibly know the magnitude of hurt or pain involved...but I guess in never occured to me that there are people out there who have absolutely zero compassion for anyone going through the battle of infertility. It took me back...actually way back....to the point of wondering why we can't all just support each other even when we don't understand the other person's hurt. Is it our right to be judgemental of another person's pain just because we don't feel the same way?? Wouldn't it be nice if we could just feel compassion for a person solely because there is something in their life causing them pain? Comments were left about the fact that "if infertility is the worst thing in someone's life that they should just be grateful". To be honest, almost every single day of my life I have a conversation with myself about how much in my life I have to be thankful for...and do you know why I have this conversation with myself everday? It's because everday I am reminded in one way or another that after 7 years I am still not a mother no matter how hard I have tried to be one. So, yes....I know how incredibly fortunate I am to have such a wonderful family, a roof over my head, a wonderful support system, amazing friends and a husband that is a human angel.....but it still doesn't take away the pain I feel when I think that I might never experience feeling a baby growing inside of me, the miracle of birthing my son, looking into my child's eyes and seeing the reflection of her father or nursing a baby to sleep. Some of these things aren't important to some people...but they were important to me and my choice to have these important things in my life were taken from me without my permission.
So before we judge someone's pain based on our own idea of importance on the subject... let's just acknowlegde that the person is hurting, lend them our compassion, and do what we can to help them through it.
okay...now I feel better. :)
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Just a Little Vent
shared by Jamie at 11:45 AM
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10 butterfly kisses:
So amazingly well said.... and so true. Bless you...
you said it all sweetie....it is always amazing to know how ignorant some people really are....or how thoughtless....not sure which....but....what else can you say? sorry you had to read that and be made to feel how you felt......i love you.
articles like that one just make so mad, how dare them! and just who do they think they realy are!? I so agree with your mom, some are just plaine stupid and you wonder if they even have a heart? I'm sorry....you know the old saying "Be careful what you say, cause it can come back and bite you the behind", you will get a baby, God is good! mircles DO REALY HAPPEN! Hug's, Annette
I think we are all ignorant in our own different situations. We can't ALL experience the pain of others nor can we all understand it. It takes special individuals to carry such weight and for some crazy reason, God feels you are fully capable :) BELIEVE ME, I know how difficult some days must be! I go back to thinking... who am I to judge, only God is the judge in this situation and I am to try to love and accept those around me because it isn't my burden to judte.
Jamie, I love you more than you know. You are an incredibly tough and beautiful woman. Don't let the words of others add to your already difficult situation. It REALLY isn't worth it :)
I think we are all ignorant in our own different situations. We can't ALL experience the pain of others nor can we all understand it. It takes special individuals to carry such weight and for some crazy reason, God feels you are fully capable :) BELIEVE ME, I know how difficult some days must be! I go back to thinking... who am I to judge, only God is the judge in this situation and I am to try to love and accept those around me because it isn't my burden to judte.
Jamie, I love you more than you know. You are an incredibly tough and beautiful woman. Don't let the words of others add to your already difficult situation. It REALLY isn't worth it :)
I am sorry that you had to experience the compassionless side of the world with the comments in the article. You deserve to NEVER feel the way that article made you feel. We should just extend love, care and an open heart to those who are in pain, no matter what that pain is or where it comes from. I am glad you got the chance to vent. You are an amazingly strong woman who I admire deeply. Hopefully these comments of support from all those that love you help negate the comments from all those who did not think before they typed.
I think the way people learn compassion is through pain and suffering of their own. People who make comments like that probably haven't experienced much loss or pain or know the love of a child.
Thank you to all of you beautiful wonderful ladies. :) I'm so lucky to have you all cheering me on! We all have our trials in life and I guess I just feel that it's not our right to judge the depth of someone's pain based on the subject. Everyone feels pain at different levels...it's just our job to be conpassionate. And you are all very compassionate ladies! :) THank you for understanding. :)
and so from this there is a lesson for us all to take...isn't amazing how every situation is a learning opportunity? i feel like i have been doing a lot of judging lately, which is both ridiculous and mean. thank you for my lesson and for the reminder that we are all experiencing this life...let's treat each other with kindness. i love you and miss you!
i'm sorry that you had to read these hurtful things...please know that you are loved, and there are so many people that are loving and supporting you, not judging, hoping and praying with you that a sweet little one will be placed in you and matt's arms soon. i love you, and i wish that those people that feel they can even comment in a negative way about something so personal to so many people would find they're own truth inside themselves. can you even imagine the ignorance?? how sad for them!
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