Friday, July 27, 2007

Happy Birthday to Matt!

Happy 37th Birthday to my wonderful husband! You bring so much happiness and joy to my life and all of those around you. Thank you for your gentle spirit and loving heart. You make my life complete and I love you without end! Enjoy your day knowing how incredibly special you are. Happy Birthday!!! :)

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

I need to breathe...

Do you ever feel like you just want to shout out to the world "STOP"!, just STOP!...and ...let me breathe... I do. I've been feeling like that a lot lately. We all deal with personal tragedies. Some more often than others, but I feel so frustrated by the way society just expects us to keep on going. Put on a happy face and just keep on going. Well, some days I just don't want to, yet I go about my day...smiling...laughing (haha) if I care about anything other than my miserable internal dibilitating battle over acceptance and downright bitter resentment. The weight of this battle is sometimes unbearable. Yet, does this chaotic world we live in ever give us time to grieve our losses? find peace within our tragedies? nurture our sometimes dying souls? give us time to find the happiness within our hearts again? Where does a person go to just "get away"????? Expectations are everywhere. Responsibilities are...everywhere. Sometimes I just want to call a "time out". Let Jamie find her sense of balance again. Try to make sense of and find peace in the possibility of a dying dream. How is that possible when there's work, school, cleaning, trying to eat "right", doctors appts., dogs, cats, yards, etc. and in the midst of it you don't have the energy to do any of it. Pretty soon another year has gone by and you're another year older and you wonder what you've learned...what you've experienced...what more your life has become about...and you can't think of anything. "Life" just seems to wisk us away...I want to know the key to slowing it down....I need to bbrreeaatthhee. Please world...just let me breathe.
(I'm really okay ~ just sad right now and need to get it out). :) Thanks for letting me breathe for 2 seconds.