Sunday, February 24, 2008


Peace is what we're feeling these days. A dear friend of mine included a passage in her latest e-mail. It's Psalms 126:5 "Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy." For some reason this brought me a sense of peace.
Another reason is that Matt and I have decided to pursue adoption...and we're so excited! I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders and that we're finally on a path that WILL bring us joy. It's wonderful for us to think that our desires of having a family could possibly be months away! This road will no doubt have it's roadblocks...possible heartache as well, but it WILL end with a baby being placed in our arms. This process is long...especially the initial processing, paperwork, spilling your life and heart out to only be judged whether you are "worthy" enough of giving a child a home, but it will all be worth it. I feel that in my heart.
So today we're celebrating! We're GOING to have a BABY! :)

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

My RE confirmed what we already knew...we're experiencing a miscarriage. We feel sad, frustrated, confused and mad about what is happening....but we know that we have done everything and more than we possibly could. We feel like we surpassed so many hurdles with this last cycle and made it SO far....what a beautiful story it would have been.
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all of your love, prayers and support. We appreciate our families, friends and acquaintences who have helped carry us along this journey. After 7 years, 4 IUI's, 5 IVF treatments and 2 pregnancy losses, it's time to re-evaluate our direction. We hope our next journey brings us the happiness we have been so desperately seeking.
Love and thanks to all of you ~

Monday, February 18, 2008

Prayers Please??

Without going into the "tmi" details....I'm hitting a bit of a rough spot which is causing me a lot of worry and fear that this pregnancy is in jeopardy. I know how all of your prayers have helped carry us through in the past and I'm asking for your prayers again. I won't know anything for sure until my u/s on Thursday (unless of course something happens in the meantime). Any postitive energy you can muster up and all the prayers sent out on our behalf is so greatly and sincerely appreciated. I'm trying to just take this "one day at a time"...

Friday, February 15, 2008

Early Ultrasound

Hi ~ We were originally supposed to have our u/s today at 9:45, but Wednesday I woke up to some spotting that I was concerned about. It had started to happen on Tuesday and by Wednesday it was a little heavier, so I wanted some reassurance that everything was okay. My RE got me in at 1:45 on Wed. Matt was out of town and I was really nervous about the the news I would be given. It happened to be the exact day that we found out last time that the embryo had stopped growing. RE couldn't see anything going on except a sac and yolk located right where it should be. He did say that it was measuring a little small , but still within normal range. (whatever that means!) So, now we have to wait until next Friday for an u/s. It's going to be a long week! At that point I'll be 7wks 1day and if there's a heartbeat, we'll be able to see it. I'm really hoping for that! I would love to get some real substantially good news. I feel like as good as our news has's all been kind of middle of the road. Do you know what I mean??
Anyway...I know that some of you were expecting more news today and just wanted to give you an update. :)
Thanks again for all of your prayers and positive thoughts. We are so far from being out of the woods and we just appreciate your support so much!

Monday, February 11, 2008

Still Moving In The Right Direction

Hi! Just a quick update with today's news. Our hcg level is at 1928 today. :) It's not as high as I anticipated, but my nurse reassured me that things are still on track as they should be, so I'm choosing to believe her! :)
I won't go back until Friday, which is when I will have my first ultrasound to check everything out. At that point I will be 6 weeks 1 day, so still VERY early.
Thank you all so much for sharing your excitement with us. If we seem extremely cautious to join you...we are, but we still love the excitement you show us. :)
It's another good day!

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Happy 60th To My Papa!

Happy Birthday Dad!!!! :)

I hope you have a very beautiful day and that you get to do something that makes your heart soar!! You have had a rough year and I'm so thankful that today you are feeling good, gaining some weight back :), getting to do the things you love again and eating the foods your heart desires! You mean so much to me dad and I'm so grateful for the chance to celebrate you today and all that you bring to my life. You have always been stability, strength, compassion, wisdom, morality, adventure and love. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of those things.
Happy Birthday ~ may your year bring you so much health and happiness!!
I love you! :)

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Can You Handle Some More Good News??

Today it's 595! Again...more than doubling. So grateful for today!
I am so excited, yet so cautious to the point where I almost feel it isn't real. I'm so afraid one of these days it's all going to be taken away again...
but, today....I'm happy. :)

Monday, February 4, 2008

A Little More Good News

So, we're moving in the right direction. :) Today our hcg level is at 191 and my nurse was extremely pleased with that number. And so are we!! :)
I go back on Wed. for another blood test and most likely will continue to do that until the number reaches a point that my RE is comfortable with. is another good day! I'm learning the importance of living in "today" and not getting ahead of myself by looking too far into the future. :) Thank you for your continued love and support and prayers!