Round Two

Well, a couple of weeks after we lost our little mourning dove family...a new little family decided to take up residency in the nest that was left. I thought to myself "oh great, we have to go through this again!". So far this experience has been quite different than the last one. We did have a very close predatory encounter, but I think everyone is okay. (I hope!)
There were two little baby doves that were hatched - Matt saved one of the shells to show the little kiddos, but it was starting to gross me out having a it on my counter so I threw it away. :( For quite a while I could see two little birdie heads popping out of the nest. It was so cute! There was always a mommy or a daddy taking care of the little ones. I kept expecting to walk out and find one of the babies on the ground like last time....but it never happened until this past Wed. I had the door open to the backyard and Molly and T were enjoying the cool morning air. Well, all of a sudden there was a big swoosh headed straight for the ground. We went outside to see T laying under a bush right below the nest and both adult doves flopping around acting like they were hurt. I thought it was just because T was so close to the nest. Well, halfway through his pounce to go after the "hurt" doves, I grabbed him only for Matt to realize he had a feather sticking out of his mouth (classic!) I almost vomitted thinking that one of the baby birdies was in his stomach! Once I got him inside we looked back by the bush he was laying under and saw one of the babies. He was pretty big and his wings looked all spread out and awkward. I thought "wonderful ~ he's going to lay there and die and I can't do anything about it!" I could watch him from the family room window. I knew I wasn't supposed to try and help him ~ I knew his parents would do what they could. I kept checking on him until all of a sudden he was gone. He kept moving closer and closer into the shade as the sun continued to rise in the sky. His little wings were folded perfectly to his side and he was looking around at everything. The last time I saw him he was semi under a vine between it and the house and his mama was perched on the fence right above him. The next morning he was nowhere to be seen. I'm choosing to believe that he found his strength and has flown away. That's what I'm choosing to believe and hopefully it's the truth!
Now for this other little birdie.....I don't think he wants to leave home. Both parents are hardly in the nest at all these days. Last night for the first time he was perched a little outside the nest and I expected to see him on the ground this morning, but nope....he's snuggly secured within his nest again! :) Maybe he's really a chicken and not a mourning dove. :) Can you blame him after what he witnessed with his brother!? :)
Needless to say both Molly and T are on house arrest and Molly is only allowed in the backyard under strict supervision ~although she'd probably just want to be friends with the birdies anyway!

Show and Tell Time :)

I've tried to make a little space for creativity between my mandatory book reading and reviewing. :) I finally got around to making Wyatt's rag quilt. (it's only 10 months late!) It was fun and reminded me how much a enjoy creating things. I thought I would post a little photo of it for you. :) (it's the red,white and blue one ~ haha!)
Yesterday while I was at JoAnne's I saw the "pattern" for these little blankets and thought for some reason that Molly needed one for when we go camping and especially for "her spot" on the couch. So...here's the little blankie I made Molly too. :) It was fun and super easy!!

Our Mourning Dove Mama

This little mama was so devoted to her little babies...there was never a time that I went outside and she wasn't there in her nest over the past month. I really came to enjoy her being here and liked the fact that she felt safe being close to us. I wondered how she was feeding them and learned that they feed them "milk" that is regurgitated from the food she eats. I guess that explains it!

Well, Tuesday I went outside and found a little tiny feathered baby bird on the ground right below the nest (dead). I felt horrible for her ~ I talked to her a little bit and wasn't sure what to do with it. I had to do something or else Molly / Tantrum would find it.

This afternoon I went out to check on her and found another little feathered birdie with its wings spread out (obviously had taken a shot at flying) dead in the same place. These little birds were of pretty good size and I just can't figure out what happened. That poor little mama bird....

I looked online and Mourning doves only lay two eggs....so I guess that's it for her. I wonder if she will try again.... I felt her loss with her as I, too, lost two little ones of my own.

Tonight she is not in her nest....I think she's moved on.

Our San Diego Trip

Hi! I just wanted to share a few pictures from our trip over to Coronado. :) We had a great time hanging out on the beach (yes, we spared you the swimsuit pictures!! :)), we went to the Wild Animal Zoo which was incredible and just spent more time wandering through town and Seaport Village. It was a perfect little get-a-way! :)
Here's out little bunglaow ~
We found a dog beach and were very entertained by this huge St. Bernard who LOVED the water!

Sneaky waves!!


A very large paw print of a very large lion ~ thank goodness he was sleeping! :)Mama and baby elephant ~ they were having a great time together that day!Asian elephant ~ aren't these tusks amazing! He looked like a wool mammoth (less the "wooly")
Pride of lions just basking in the shade ~ amazing!

God's Whisper

So let me paint you a picture....

The room is getting darker as the sun is setting very low in the sky. The blinds are closed and there are slivers of orange sunlight gleaming in through the areas of the blinds that don't completely cover the window. I have my Willow Angels sitting on my dresser, almost all of which are enveloped in darkness. I had just put some laundry in the laundry basket in my room and was heading toward the door. I briefly glanced over to my left to find this magnificant shadow displayed on my wall. The words read "HOPE". I realized the sunlight had captured one of my Willow Angels....a little person with one arm stretched way up high holding a sign that says "hope". For some reason I felt like God was talking to me. It could have been any other of my numerous Willow Angels that caught the sunlight last night, but it was THIS one.....a big bold beautiful message to have hope! It was just what I needed! :)

Self Advocacy :)

This has been on my mind a lot lately. I'm not the type of person to sit back and let someone else do all the "work" for me when it comes to...well...just about anything. :) So...it's not a very comfortable position for me to be in when it comes to our adoption process and not having a hand in the work to be done to bring our baby home. I don't feel comfortable just waiting without doing something myself to help make our situation different and bring us closer to the dream of becoming parents. I enjoy "fighting for my own cause". :) I decided that I'm going to try and do some things within my power to spread the word that we are two loving people who want to be parents and after seven years have not been able to make that happen for ourselves...we are seeking to adopt an infant to raise in this wonderfully beautiful, honest, open and incredibly loving family we are a part of. We are homestudy ready which means we have completed all of the necessary information needed to become certified in our state. We are just waiting...for a birthmother to think that we are the right people to care for and raise her child. I have thought about posting our "dear birthmother" letter...just in case anyone who happens across this blog reads it and knows someone or is someone who wants to make an adoption plan for their child. It feels a bit personal, but I guess we have to let ourselves be vulnerable sometimes if it means achieving our dreams. :)

Just a Little Vent

Something has been on my mind for a little while and I guess I need to release it in order to move on from it. :) The New York Times recently published an article regarding the journeys of several women through their infertility/adoption/child-free living, etc. The infertility support group that I am involved with sent out an e-mail regarding this article and a link to it in order for anyone who wanted to to read it since they felt like it was an adequate representation of many feelings involved in this disease. At the bottom of the article I ran into an area where readers can respond to the article and leave comments about their thoughts. As I read through the comments I was horrified, hurt, and in shock at the lack of compassion and downright cruel and mean things people commented upon. Granted I am aware that until a person has experience something for themselves, they could not possibly know the magnitude of hurt or pain involved...but I guess in never occured to me that there are people out there who have absolutely zero compassion for anyone going through the battle of infertility. It took me back...actually way back....to the point of wondering why we can't all just support each other even when we don't understand the other person's hurt. Is it our right to be judgemental of another person's pain just because we don't feel the same way?? Wouldn't it be nice if we could just feel compassion for a person solely because there is something in their life causing them pain? Comments were left about the fact that "if infertility is the worst thing in someone's life that they should just be grateful". To be honest, almost every single day of my life I have a conversation with myself about how much in my life I have to be thankful for...and do you know why I have this conversation with myself everday? It's because everday I am reminded in one way or another that after 7 years I am still not a mother no matter how hard I have tried to be one. So, yes....I know how incredibly fortunate I am to have such a wonderful family, a roof over my head, a wonderful support system, amazing friends and a husband that is a human angel.....but it still doesn't take away the pain I feel when I think that I might never experience feeling a baby growing inside of me, the miracle of birthing my son, looking into my child's eyes and seeing the reflection of her father or nursing a baby to sleep. Some of these things aren't important to some people...but they were important to me and my choice to have these important things in my life were taken from me without my permission.
So before we judge someone's pain based on our own idea of importance on the subject... let's just acknowlegde that the person is hurting, lend them our compassion, and do what we can to help them through it.

okay...now I feel better. :)