What a whirlwind life has been lately. I feel like I have temporarily stepped out of my life and into the fastlane of paperwork, decision making, reminiscing, dotting i's and crossing t's, digging deep and trying to remember to eat.
We had our first phone interview with our adoption agency in Oregon on Tuesday. I was feeling very anxious about it...not worried, just anxious. I think because it was over the phone I was feeling insecure in the way it would all play out. Will she think we're friendly, will we talk too much or not enough, will there be awkward moments, will we not have the answers to her questions, will she be friendly and on an on. It's enough to drive a person crazy. But, it all turned out fine. She was friendly, we were friendly...all was good. :) We will be taking a trip up to meet them in person within the next couple of weeks and we're excited about that. I'm hoping to have our photo portfolio completed to a point where they can review it and let me know if it's okay to go ahead and make the copies needed to leave at the agency for the birthmothers to review. It will consist of approx. 18 pages of photos organized within certain categories...us together and apart, our families, holidays, things we like to do, places we've been, our pets, our home and should close with a special message, poem etc. I've started pulling all of the photos together and trying to place them on pages of decorative paper, but I can only work at the rate that my mind will allow it all to come together. I have to take breaks and let it all sort out in my head before I can continue. This is sometimes frsutrating and under normal circumstances the creative juices would be flowing I'm sure, but since we're trying to make an "impression", I keep re-thinking my decisons. I need to just let it go...and let the story be told.
Our pool fence is being installed today!! :) I'm sure many of you are very happy about this addition to our home. We are too, although I'm not sure Molly will be. She won't have access to the pool whenever she wants to cool off and she won't have access to check with the dogs next door to us to make sure they all still know how to bark loud and clear. BUMMER! She's really going to be upset when she discovers that "T" can still get through. Yes, I can hear the whining already...
Monday we have our final homestudy visit with our agency here. After getting several documents notarized tomorrow, we will gladly turn everything in to our social worker! YAY! Hopefully at that time we will learn if they have received our fingerprint clearance back yet. If they haven't ...they will have to wait for those before they can write up the homestudy and send it to the judge for approval. If they DO have our clearance back, they will write up our homestudy withing 72 hours and send it to the judge. The judge will typically get it back to the agency within around 3 weeks. At least that's what we were told. :)
So, things are coming together! This process has brought moments of excitement, diligence, self reflection and to be honest...lots of fear. There are so many emotions involved in defining who you are, what you believe in, what your discipline style is, what type of child you are willing to take into your home and what your lifelong plan is for the rest of your existence on this earth. (that's what it feels like anyway). I think ALL parents should have to sit down together and figure all this stuff out before they're able to even think about conceiving. Maybe not...I might never get a baby then! Sometimes it seems that we've had to concentrate for so long on even getting close to this goal of parenthood that when it actually seems like it could happen ~ terror hits and I wonder if I even know HOW to take care of a baby! It's kind of like "yay, we have a baby! wait ~ now WHAT??" It's just been Matt and I for so long....sometimes it feels weird that at some point there's going to be another member of our family. In the past it just always felt like it was something unobtainable...soon it will be a realistic goal! WOW ~ sometimes this is all so overwhelming. But good overwhelming at that.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Whirlwind of Motion and Emotion
shared by Jamie at 10:35 AM
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11 butterfly kisses:
yes....you two have been busy people lately.....busier....and i am so amazed at how you have tackled all of this and methodically made your way through the mountain...or climbed it! hopefully the rest will come together, and there won't be great frustrations ahead (minus the fence! :) before it is all finalized.....and complete.
i think all the feelings you have are very typical of most first time expectant parents during this "nine month" pregnancy and waiting period.....no one knows those answers until it's their turn.....and what a wonderful blessing it will be when it finally is.....to learn all about yourselves as parents and a wee one...we are so excited and praying that this blessing will happen soon.....but, we will try and be patient too! :)
love you both so~!
You two have been busy little bees over there. I can not believe how much you have gotten accomplished in such a short time, well...knowing you not really surprised I guess! I agree with Nonnie, the feelings you describe sound like the feelings of almost all expectant parents. The this is what I really want, but how is it going to actually work out.
Our prayers are still with you guys that the rest of the process goes by quickly and as smoothly as possible. Also, the book will come together just as it should. :)
you will be beautiful, caring, nuturing, loving parents...what more could a baby ask for? i am so glad that things are moving forwad. you sound so happy when i get to talk to you. i love you.
Wow! a lot has been going on. Most future parents don't have to take "parenting 101" They just have a baby and then learn through trial and error as they go along. And unfortunately, some really fail at it.
With your writing ability and creativity, I think you will have a jump ahead of some prospecting parents. I'm sure your book will be great! So don't fret so much...I know, easier said than done!!
Jam, anything you put together will be beautiful! I an not just saying that either! You and Matt are such an amazing team and I am so proud of you both. I am so happy that the mountain of paperwork is coming to an end. I love you guys so much! Just remember that no person knows exactly what they are doing when their children come into their lives! You just take it day by day and learn as the days come and go. You are going to be amazing parents and I CAN'T wait to see you and Matt in this role. I am so excited for you. I remember when little Wyatt came into our lives I couldn't believe what was happening. Your life is going to change more than you can ever imagine and you are going to make some little soul so happy! You make my heart smile!
take a deep breath dear, just be yourself and things will naturally come together. After reading all of the "to-do's" I can understand partially where my own mother was coming from when she adopted me...only she didn't brave all the paperwork. The girl pregnant with me lived with my parents for a short while where they took care of her and made sure she had the proper care and then when it was time to deliver, she went into the hospital under my mom's name and had me and when she got out she handed me over with the birth certificate with my mom and dad's name on it. I don't think people could get by with this anymore and just imagine the stress! Maybe all the legal procedures aren't so bad after all and they will soon become distant memories of what will undoubtedly bring you a lifetime of joy...
Happy Easter to you ~
Joni (Your mom's friend :)
wow! that is a lot of checking things off the list. that must feel good in some ways.
i know that by keeping your future babe in your heart while you prepare all of this stuff...your authentic nature, your beautiful and inspiring character will shine through so bright that there will be no room for that baby to get lost on his/her way to you guys.
love you so very much.
While you do go through the "what now" phase its short and then somehow you just do it. You find your niche, your flow and all of a sudden you dont remember what life was like before the little one came along....except for the sleeping part. I never forgot that I used to be able to sleep! Tatum and I pray for you and Matt nightly and while I dont know you well, I know you enough to know you will be amazing parents! I find myself giddy when I read that things are coming together and think of a birthmother picking you guys...I cant imagine it will take long...how do you see you and Matt, pics of your whole amazing family with your parents and sisters and pass it up or give it more than a seconds thought? Hang in there!
~Jac (Cory's sister in law)
man, i've been MIA! i completely missed this posting, but i'm glad i found it:) you and matt are the most loving, caring, and genuine people i know, and you know that i would trust you with my babies lives! you were meant to be parents, and there is a baby that God is holding in his hands just for you. keep trusting Him, and yourselves as this beautiful journey continues to move forward...i love you!
You will be wonderful parents. Your book will come out just as it should and will perfectly communicate that you are two amazing people who come from great families and have a TON of love to give to this child. Congratulations on all you have accomplished so for. This baby will be so lucky to have you both.
Oh God is with you both and the journey will be
blessed with all the prayers and love of all of us
out here , knowing how wonderful it will be when baby
finally comes to live with mom and dad.!!
fondly, Deena
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